So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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