this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
