My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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