he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
