Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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