i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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