had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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