so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Houston, we have a blender
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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