are you so shy because you have an std?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
