There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
