The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
