I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
