i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
and you fell through a lawn chair
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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