Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
