WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
