it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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