That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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