If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
