We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
