dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
worst night to have a conscience
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize