Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
