I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
