Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
