so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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