I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
