well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
