It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
