and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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