Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
