I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I love you.
Bad choice
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
