How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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