let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
