Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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