Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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