he wants to bone in the snuggie
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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