My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
It's Friday. Sex?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
