Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
