JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize