yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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