The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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