just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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