i think my tv is drunk
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
