I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
My bed smells like the plague
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
