where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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