At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
