Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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