I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
