When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
