and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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