I think I died a long time ago.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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