I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
