it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It's just like the Real World with babies
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
