apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
