Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
