This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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