I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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