Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
