The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
