i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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