The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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