toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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